National Zoo Rents 2 Pandas from China for $10 Million

December 7, 2000

The federally funded Washington National Zoo received two new pandas on December 6 from Red China. The pandas, Tian Tian, a 3-year old male, and Mei Xiang, a 2-year old female, replaced the dead Hsing-Hsing and Ling-Ling who came to the zoo in 1972 as a Chinese gift to commemorate President Richard Nixon's trip to China. Ling-Ling died of a heart attack in 1992, and zoo officials killed Hsing-Hsing last year due to poor health. The communists will rent the new pandas to the zoo for 10 years for $10 million.

Pandas are among the most endangered species in the world. Only about a thousand remain in the wild, living in remote forests in China. The pandas are in danger of extinction because the Chinese communists are destroying the pandas' natural habitat. About 20 bears live in zoos outside China. Besides the new arrivals, America has three in San Diego and two in Atlanta. To prepare for the new pandas, the federally funded National Zoo spent $1.8 million to build new rock structures and sand pits. "We know from 28 years of experience with giant pandas at the National Zoo that they are real crowd pleasers," said Lawrence Small, secretary of the Smithsonian Institution, which manages the zoo.

We have several comments on this turn of events:

  • Where is the money really coming from to rent these pandas? The National Zoo claims the money is from "private donations." This is possible, since the zoo is funded from two sources, Your Tax Dollars and Private Donations (which are really from large corporations which deduct the donations from their taxes). The zoo can simply play the old switcheroo and use Your Tax Dollars to fund something that would otherwise be funded by Private Donations and then use the replaced Private Donations to pay the communists for rented pandas. This is the same scheme that is used by state governments in "funding" education with the lottery (a.k.a., the numbers racket). Ask yourself: with all the money that goes into the state lotteries, why is education no better and taxes no lower than they were before?

  • Where is the $10 million really going for the panda rental? Red China claims the money will be used for "panda conservation efforts." But in a communist country, the government owns everything. The only certainty is that with the panda money, Red China will be $10 million richer and will have $10 million more to pay for nuclear missiles to point at America.

  • Why are we paying conservation money to the government that's responsible for destroying the pandas in the first place?

  • If pandas are so endangered, why are we bringing two pandas to America? Doesn't this further endanger the panda? The National Zoo claims that they will breed the pandas, but in 20 years, the old pandas failed to produce a single living offspring. Besides this is the same zoo that killed their last panda because he had a cold.

  • Why is Hsing-Hsing's name spelled Hsing-Hsing instead of Sing-Sing? Is it because Sing Sing is the name of a notorious federal prison, and the National Zoo didn't want people to think that a panda was named after a prison? Perhaps the bureaucrats who arranged this deal should be put in Sing Sing (the prison, not the panda).

  • Why are pandas called "giant pandas"? Are there ordinary or miniature pandas? Are miniature pandas endangered as well?

  • Are pandas really bears or not? For years, school children have been taught that pandas are not bears but are distant cousins of raccoons (after all, both animals are black and white -- maybe the raccoon is a miniature panda). Now, scientists at the National Zoo have decided that pandas really are bears after all, but what do other scientists think? Who is the arbiter of this question? Maybe the Supreme Court will need to step in to decide the burning issue of whether or not pandas are bears. Hopefully, this will not delay their ruling on who really won the presidential election.

We have a suggestion. Rather than paying the communists a million dollars a year to rent these pandas, TruthNews will, for only $900,000 per year, send two members of our staff dressed in panda suits to the National Zoo to entertain zoo's visitors. The advantages of this arrangement are clear:

  • Saves the U.S. government $100,000 per year

  • Keeps the money in the U.S.

  • Doesn't help bankroll the Chinese communists

  • Doesn't further endanger the pandas by shipping them away from their natural habitat

  • Enriches us

One caveat to this offer--if any of our surrogate pandas get sick on the job, they refuse to be euthanized like Hsing-Hsing.

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